Monday Jokes

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. On all your cheque stubs, write ' For Marijuana'

3. Skip down the street Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,with a serious face.

5. Sing Along At The Opera.

6. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

7. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Car Park, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

8. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

9. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

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1. Bantu doa ya! Aku sgt ketakutan. Deket rmhku, kalau malam ada orang2 yg lewat & beringas, pisau terhunus, darah berceceran, daging tersayat, api membara & mrk berteriak ...SATE !!!

2. Angkat tangan !!! Ini perampokan ! Yg ganteng ke sblh kanan, yg cantik ke kiri ! Yg jelek ke tengah ! Heehhh !!! Kamu jgn pura2 baca ßß♏ ! Ayo cepet ke tengah !!!

3. Orang bijak santun bicaranya. Orang baik sopan perilakunya. Orang pinter tepat perilakunya. Orang stress ... baca ßß♏ melulu kerjanya.

4. Apa bedanya orang kurus & orang gemuk ? Orang kurus makan hati, orang gemuk makan tempat.

5. Selamat !!! Anda mndptkan hadiah dari Digital LG. Pilih hadiah yg anda inginkan :
1. Digi-Last mobil
2. Digi-Link truk
3. Digi-Ring polisi
4. Digi-Git anjing

6. Senyum pd ortu tanda sayang, senyum pd anak2 tanda kasih, senyum pd kekasih tanda cinta, senyum depan HP tanda Gila ...
Msh senyum lagi ? Emang 'dah GILA !!!

7. Jika kau jd bunga, aku rela jd kupu2; jika kau siang, aq rela jd matahari; jika kau laut, aku rela jd ikan: jika kau monyet, aku rela ... Sungguh, aku rela !!!

8. Selamat !!! Anda memenangkan undian mobil VW kodok dr Citibank, mohon segera kirim identitas berserta pas photo anda utk dicocokkan dgn kodoknya !!!

9. Kau sungguh dinamis, rambutmu kayak selebritis, sifatmu romantis, gayamu erotis, pakaianmu nescis, parfummu dari paris, sayang wajahmu kayak TELETUBIES ... !!!

Paste This To Someone To Make Them Smile.
It's Called .... THERAPY